I have a pet peeve. Well, I actually have a lot of pet peeves, but this one in particular really bothers me. During my adult years, as a habitually single woman, I have been invited to multiple weddings and/or formal events without a date. And it really pisses me off!
Now, I am well aware of Emily Post’s view on the subject. According to the etiquette expert…”Allowing single guests who aren't attached to a significant other to bring a date is a thoughtful gesture but not required.” Well Emily, what’s your definition of “significant”? Do I have to be married or just living in sin? Do I have to be dating a minimum of one year because six months just isn’t committed enough? What if I have a kid with someone, but we never got married? Is that significant? Ultimately, I don’t care if I’ve been with someone for one month, one year or one decade, the only person to decide whether a person is “significant” enough to accompany me to an event should be ME!
Now, I know that brides and grooms argue that weddings are expensive and budget cuts have to be made somewhere. I’ve planned three weddings….I do understand! And with limited budgets, allowing a guest to have a plus one is literally having a stranger take a spot away from a person the bride and groom do know and that sucks. However, ultimately, I would think that the bride and groom would want their friends and loved ones to be able to relax and enjoy themselves. And for me, that means not going solo.
Personally, I always look forward to bringing a date to a wedding. It’s a fun, happy event where love is in the air and everyone looks and (hopefully) is on their best behavior. And unlike most of my friends, I hate to dance so it’s nice to have someone by my side while everyone else is on the dance floor. And honestly, why risk being seated at the dreaded “singles” table which has to be one of the most humiliating experiences in life.
I was 24 years old the first time I received a wedding invitation without a plus one option. Ironically, my own wedding was to be held only two months later which the bride, who was a close friend, was well aware of. The bride also knew my fiancé very well which made the exclusion even more shocking and hurtful to me. Ultimately, I decided not to attend the wedding and my friend never spoke to me again. That said, I have never regretted my decision.
For the past 17 years, I have stuck to my rule of never attending a wedding if I am invited solo. However, unlike 17 years ago, I am no longer shocked or upset when I receive an invitation for just one. I recognize and understand the challenges facing the newly affianced. I just hope the bride and groom will understand when I respectfully decline their invitation.
